Jan 08 Update - Hi. I'm Carren. I'm a completely different person.

(This is a monthly email I send to family and friends updating on the basics, so that's why you may think it reads like a weird blog entry. ;))

So, I managed to go all of last year without sending a single update. I am sure some of you are grateful for that, but now I have all this pent up yapping that needs to get out there. and I have found a new way to do it: blogging. That’s right. I am now on the world wide web and I have a feeling that this internet thing is going to be huge. My blog address is http://www.mycket.blogspot.com/ and is called {Being Awake Never Felt Like This Before}, thanks to Ben Folds for his fabulous lyrical writing skills.

Don’t worry. I won’t be posting endlessly (my definition, not yours), so you’ll have very little to catch up on if you miss a week or two, but honestly, I can’t imagine that happening to any of you. I’ll post just a few times a week, in addition to these monthly updates that I am hoping to resurrect. This is just an easier way to keep track of people, add photos and videos, and blather on endlessly. Which, if you are getting this update, you know are things I love to do.

I also have created an additional blog dedicated to my scrapbooking, so that’s been fun posting stuff there and working on that other part of my life. Just look for the link in the header of the main page. I also like posting interesting articles I’ve read and have a ‘Favorite Webpage’ link every month.

In starting this, I have also noticed that several of you have blogs. If you would care to send me the address to yours, I would like to add it to the list of blogs I need to read regularly - which I am getting pretty good at doing!

I will be following the #1 blogging rule – NEVER talk about work. It is pretty safe to assume that everything I post will come back to bite me in the butt one day. So, I will do my best to avoid serious repercussions and maintain some level of anonymity, while still pouring out my guts and posting minute life details for all to see. :) That means securing all present and future employment by not talking about my job. Sorry, folks. But, I am sure you’re relieved not to hear how stressed I can get.

So with that out of the way, I can say that January has been a relatively quiet month. No trips, no scrapbooking crops. I spent Christmas here alone in DC, which was quite possibly the worst decision I ever made, second only to seeing the movie ‘Powder.’ It was necessary because I just did not have the gazillion dollars that the airlines were demanding for airfare to Salt Lake City. We did set up a webcam, so I saw: the family open presents, Kendall’s rear end several times (as he could not resist mooning the camera) and 18-month-old Jackson running around the room in his new Elmo slippers. All of these things made me cry for different reasons. This experience will NOT be repeated in 08.

During that two week period here, I was basically the only one at work and it was dead quiet. The situation was worse when I got to my apartment. I did get to see some friends during the time, but I mostly just watched a LOT of movies and TV on DVD. This habit continued through this January. I watched every episode of the show “30 Rock,” which I loved. Two movies that I really enjoyed were “The Kingdom” and “3:10 to Yuma”, both were very suspenseful, exciting and violent, which is apparently something I really enjoy in my motion picture experiences.

Some of you know that late December brought with it some devastating news that has rocked my world and that of my family. Our family has been working to rebuild our lives and come to grips with what’s happening. A lot of our family has been torn apart, but I can see change and as we’re renewing our ideas of what it means to be family. I see the ties that bind growing stronger. So I am grateful for that. Nothing gets easier, just our emotional strength to deal with it gets is enlarged and I think that’s all that one can ask for. I have had the added blessing of an outpouring of love and concern from so many friends. The calls and the notes of care and thoughtfulness have really been the only way I have managed to stay on my feet for the past month and I can’t thank you all enough. I am so blessed and so lucky. Thank you.

Last year, I failed (spectacularly failed, I might add) at a relationship that turned into a friendship that turned into a bad situation that I needed to get out of immediately. (I posted about it on the blog- look under the label called: Jasper.) I thought I could take a few lines and update you on the current situation. When we last left our heroine, she had agreed to meet ‘Jasper’ for lunch at the beginning of January, even after she told him to get out of her life forever. This was much to the dismay of our heroine’s friends and family. Ok, I can’t talk about myself in the third person anymore. My mom, in particular, was quite animated about it all. She thought that if I had to go to the lunch at all, I should: “Bring a friend, bring your scriptures, bring the missionaries! It will discourage him from inviting you again.” (as ‘Jasper’ is not LDS.)

Well, I did go to the lunch and when I arrived, imagine my total shock to find that HE had brought the missionaries! He was waiting out on the street and the missionaries had approached him. They had apparently been talking about 20 minutes when I got there. One of them was a greenie and was VERY excited to be talking to someone who was so interested in hearing about the church. (Whatever his faults, ‘Jasper’ has always been inquisitive and interested in hearing about the church, even though he is not even remotely interested in joining.) Poor greenie missionary. :)

Lunch was good (sans missionaries) and I had made plans immediately after so I wouldn’t stay long. During the two hours, I also got no less than 7 calls from concerned friends, no doubt encouraging me not to stay long, either. We had a good conversation and I explained, in depth, my issues with him and why I needed out. I was shocked to find that he had, for the first time, a plan on how he was going to fix things, rather than an ‘I’ll change” answer. We’ve spent a little time together since then and he’s stuck to this plan. I know that you all are not excited about this and trust me, I am also VERY aware that I could get burned AGAIN. But he’s been diligent, has made a lot of effort to fix things between us and has been good friend to me (that’s all I want from him) for almost a full month. He also knows that he is on serious probation. So we’ll see.

While technically this should be part of February’s update, it only happened a few hours into February and I feel I MUST share this with you now (plus it explains the update title). Last night, a group of friends and I went to go see a movie. But it wasn’t just any movie. OH NO. It was the U2 in 3D movie. At the Imax. Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen, Jr. in 3D on a 60’x90’ screen. OH YEAH. IT WAS MIND-BLOWING. I am a big fan of U2, but this was just amazing. I kept forgetting I was in a movie, and was singing along with every song and clapping and yelling “Yaaaaahhhhhhh!!!” at the end of every song. But it was so loud, just like a real concert, that I don’t think that anyone other than Katie (on my left) and Scott (on my right) heard me, but they were doing it, too. So I didn’t mind.

At one point, Bono reached out his hand and I caught myself with my arm outstretched to his, I was that moved. After the movie, Courtney asked how I liked it and with a tear in my eye, I shook her hand and said “Hi. I’m Carren. I’m a completely different person.” It was a life changing experience and I highly recommend that every U2 fan see this movie.

That’s about it and I have a lot of things I need to attend to today. I hope you all have a great weekend and a wonderful February. Look forward to another update in 4 weeks!