Short Letters to Famous People

My friend, Elizabeth (amazing, talented and published scrapbooker) does this every so often and I have had a few ruminating in my head lately, so I feel I must share:

Dear Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn:
Where in the HELL is Project Runway already??? Heidi can produce babies faster than a PR season. Dammit.
Dear Susan Boyle:
Run and hide. In case you haven't noticed already, the media loves to lift something up and then tear it down. You are quickly on your way down. This saddens me as you have real talent as opposed to anything ever manufactured on American Idol. Run and hide, release some CDs and then go on a quiet tour to share your talent. Don't try to extend your 15 minutes of fame. Do what you always wanted to do - Sing.

And quit going outside in your bathrobe and your upper lip unwaxed.

Dear Jillian Michaels:
I still hate you, but my newphew loves you. While visiting, I would try to work out in the mornings and my nephew often joined in, inventing the "Jumping Jacksons", and sometimes watching the video multiple times a day. My brother is glad I left his house with your DVD as Jackson was requesting a sports bra for his birthday. He did not get it his wish.

Please excuse the heavy breathing. Jackson may be able to do this video twice in a row; I, however, cannot. Yet. (I have no idea why it is all squishy either.)

Dear Cat Deeley:
I love you. You are wonderful. I want to be you. But you should really fire your stylist.