Cruised by the bus driver

The following conversation happened at 10:30pm last Monday night while I was driving home from Julie and Jason's where Julie and I are working on our advent calendars, which will be displayed on the scrapbook blog as soon as I finish. (Yes, I know that it's already December 12th and the passing dates defeat the purpose of the advent calendar. But let's keep in mind that I don't live with children, eager to rip open every little surprise with grubby little fingers. I'm OK starting that I am starting this tradition, say on the 15th.)

Anyway, back to the conversation. Anything in red is dialogue, anything in italics is dialogue that happened in my head. Apparently I talk to myself a lot. Let me set the scene (which, actually, is only helpful to those of you that know the mean streets of NOVA):

I exited the highway and was stopped at the bottom of the ramp in the left lane (both lanes are right turn only). Since I was in the left lane, I couldn't turn on red, so I sat there like a chump.
I am a chump for not being in the other lane so I can turn right on red because this is the longest freaking red light in North America, I thought to myself.
A bus pulled up next to me and after a few minutes, I heard some light honking. And then some more honking.
I think that buses won't turn right on red. That impatient guy behind the bus must not know that.
Honking.
Hey, impatient dude! Calm down.
LOUD, persistent honking
(%&^%# IDIOT! The bus is not going to move. KNOCK IT OFF!
Finally, the light turns green and we move about 100 yards to the next red light where the same thing happens: Bus at the red light. More waiting and more honking. The conversation in my head picking up where it last left off:
$(*&(% *)#&%
STOP HONKING!
@#$&(@#(_)$%
Just as the light changes and we start to pull away when the honking starts again, I turn around to shout obscenities at the jerkstore behind the bus, when I see that the bus driver is hanging out the window frantically flailing about and gesturing towards me!
Well holy poo, the BUS was honking AT ME.
At this point, traffic is moving forward and I am pulling away from the bus, but I am starting to panic. I'm checking my lights, my windows, my doors, the gas tank door.
Is everything on or closed? Did I leave my diet coke on top of the car? Please, tell me I haven't lost my diet coke! Oh, there is it! Whew. Wait, are my tires flat? Is there something hanging out of the trunk? What if there is something caught under my tires!? Argh! What's happening? Should I pull over??
All of this happens in the time that it takes to get from the second red light to Giant, a span of about two city blocks. I looked over and the driver is still waiving. I thought about pulling over into the Giant parking lot and examining my car, but I instead decide to slow down to see if the bus driver can tell me what is happening. Of course by now, the bus has had to slow down,thanks to you know, people getting on and off. And it forces me to miss my turn so he can catch up to me. I keep driving, fearing the news that my wheel is about to come off my right rear tire. I am starting to perspire.
When the bus pulls up, I roll down my window:
-WHAT?!?
-Hey, baby, what's your name??
I rolled up the window and made a quick left turn towards home.
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?? I am in full-on panic mode here and he was checking me out. Wait, he was checking me out.... HAHHAHAAAAAAAA.
At that point, I was almost disappointed that there wasn't a small animal or child wedged between the tire and wheel well of my car. But I got a good laugh out of it.