How the Grinch (FedEx) Stole Christmas

So living 1,936 miles from my family, who also happen to live in a weather-impaired part of the country, can present it's challenges when I attempt to visit during the winter holidays. Two years ago, my flight was cancelled minutes before I left for the airport. Over three hours and $1,000 later, I boarded a series of flights that landed me at an airport 6 hours from home. I lost a lot of money that year and feeling so scarred, I decided to skip the next Christmas and spend it instead at my own home...which also turned out to be a gigantic disaster.

This year, I played it smart and safe - I booked direct flights only. No more routing through Denver or Minneapolis, a sure fire way to have your holidays ruined. Trust me, I know. I also decided that I would be extra safe with the presents this year. Since I was flying in on Christmas Eve, I didn't want to risk the chance that I would be delayed and Santa wouldn't show up on time.

So I spent an inordinate amount of time wrapping and packaging carefully chosen presents. I then took them to the FedEx office, where I spent a GHASTLY amount of money to be guaranteed that they would be delivered on Christmas Eve. After all, it wasn't a sure bet that I could make it home to deliver presents. But knew that FedEx would. My hell, I've SEEN "Cast Away." These people are DEDICATED.....or are they? (reread the title of the blog post and see if you can guess the answer.)

The following events took place:
Christmas Eve: I board my flight at the crack of dawn and actually land 30 minutes early. I had made it home! I realized when I FedExed the presents that I could have just brought an extra suitcase with me and paid the baggage fee ($50 on Evil Overlord Delta Airlines, but still less than I paid at FedEx), but that wasn't a guarantee. So I went about my visiting people business, drove home and by 7pm Christmas Eve, the presents had not yet arrived. I spent an HOUR on hold with FedEx, trying to track my package. Finally, I just had to resign myself to the fact that FedEx had failed me, the package would be delivered on the 26th, and I was going to get my money back come hell or high water.

Christmas: Fine. It was good to spend it with family, but frustrating to know that I had spent all that time and effort and wasn't going to be able to watch my family open their gifts. Definitely a bummer.

26th: By 6pm, the package had still not yet been delivered, despite THREE FedEx trucks driving by my house. Once I finally got a live person on the phone, who of course did not speak English well, that person told me that they could not find the package. They had NO idea where it was and after yelling for a manager (By this time I was pretty pissed), they found the package in a city about 20 minutes from my house. It had been there since the 23rd! However, they were so 'OVERWHELMED' with packages that they had to quit delivering on Christmas Eve. Really? REALLY? You are FedEx and this is CHRISTMAS. It's not like you didn't see this coming. So they said that I could pick up the package in the city 20 minutes from my parent's house the next day.

27th: I call FedEx that morning to find out what time the location closed so I can finally deliver the presents to my family. Again, they can't find the package. Depsite what they said previously. I convince (in a very very very angry and high pitched screaming voice) the random people in another country who pick up the 1-800 Customer Service lines, to finally just call the location and check to see if they can physically locate the package. They came back with the answer that because the local office was still 'SO overwhelmed' on Friday, they couldn't deliver the package and by the end of the day, they had just locked everything up in a storage container and would deal with it on Monday. I couldn't even pick up the package. They wouldn't even unlock the storage container. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKING KIDDING ME!! Listen, I am SORRY to bother you, FED. EX. But get off your butts!! I am STILL so mad typing this. How lazy is this?? I fume about this for two days.

29th: The morning that I am preparing to fly home, I get an automated phone call that I can pick up the package. FINALLY. So after a delicious breakfast with Court and her younger sister, I quickly said goodbye to my family and then spent the next four hours racing all over the valley delivering Christmas gifts before my flight took off.

Jan 9th: After expressing my serious displeasure, (in a very very very angry and high pitched screaming voice) the random people in another country returned my money.

The sad thing is: I will probaby do this again next year because I STILL trust FedEx more than the airlines during the holidays.