Voldemort : Harry Potter :: Fidel Castro : My brother, Dallin.

UPDATE: Read a response from Dallin below.

Did you ever seen that episode of Arrested Development where George Michael's teacher 'loves' Saddam Hussein? (I haven't said it enough that you people NEED to be watching that show on DVD - you REALLY NEED to.) The teacher is obsessed with Saddam. She knows all of his habits and personality quirks and weird things about Saddam's life and family. That's the relationship my brother, Dallin, has with Fidel Castro.

It probably has more to do with the fact that Dallin practically IS Harry Potter (the similarities are creepy) and he needed an arch-nemesis something bad. I don't know how he picked the bearded wonder to the south, but he did. And there you have it. An eternal struggle between good and evil is born.

It's kind of a morbid fascination for Dallin, really. It's like the two are inseparably connected. Wondering how Fidel's health is? Call Dallin. He'll tell you. He used to have dreams about Fidel and was ABSOLUTELY positive he was called to the wrong mission (Peru) because he should have been one of the first missionaries to be called into Cuba...which has yet to happen and Dallin's been home for like 18 months already.

I am sure that somewhere in Cuba, if he is not already dead and his family is hiding it, Fidel is having dreams of a gangly white, white, white boy with a scar on his forehead, born on July 31. Mark my words: some day, some time, some where, the two of them will meet and one of them will have to kill the other. I hope Dallin wins.

Happy birthday, D.



8/1/08 Updated: I don't usually have guest bloggers, but I feel that it is fair to post Dallin's side. Especially since I shared his deep, dark secrets. Plus if it will help him get girls, I am all for it.

To whom it may concern:
In response to my sister's "Happy Birthday" message posted 7/31/08, I have felt the need to clarify certain points she brought up.

I'm sure reading about my personal relationship with Fidel Castro can leave you felling a little weirded out. I respect that. But seeing is that I will ask some of you, if not all of you, to set me up on a date with your little sisters, friends etc, I do ask you to understand why I feel this way and why I can't wait for the old geezer to die.

#1 I, Dallin, was brought into this world on July 31st. The same day as a young Mr Harry Potter.

#2 I have a nice scar on my forehead. (I don't blame Fidel for making me fall off a wall. I shouldn't have been playing on the damn thing anyway. I just think the scar is a cool coincidence.)

#3 Despite a heart to heart with the Big Man upstairs, I was sent to TWO south American countries on my mission. First, Bolivia and second, Peru. It was while I was living in Peru, in the exact moment I was reflecting of my Latin destiny, I saw a newspaper that read "BUSH CRITICIZES CUBA". All the scattered puzzle pieces in my head fell into place. Why did I have to learn Spanish? Why did I have to come to Peru? Things made sense. Either prophetically or foolishly I stopped and said "My fate will be directly tied to Castro"

#4 I found out later that in my favorite show, The West Wing, that Leo Mcgarry spent an episode in Cuba. This doesn't seem all that important until you learn that Leo is my favorite character AND the episode aired the exact same day I left for my mission.(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0745662/)

#5 About a 8 months after my encounter with the newspaper, I was sitting in member's house. While I was being served dinner, Sister Marty stopped and said to me "Castro is dieing". Needless to say I choked on my rice and chicken. I had never mentioned any of my Cuba-mania to her, so to hear say that took me by surprise. Do you want to know the part that really blows my mind? She told this to me on July 31, 2006. My birthday.

This is the short version on why I feel the way that I do about Cuba and Castro. I have more experiences that are much deeper and more spiritual than these. But those stay secret with me. Obviously Cuba is still not open to missionaries, so my guess at the timing was a little off. Also, I don't think that God has chosen me to kill Castro or anything like that. I don't know what I am supoosed to do. I just think that my future lies 90 miles off the cost of Florida.

Dallin