5) "Woot!"
My general expression for excitement and looking forward to something. Even I find it annoying. I've gotta find something else.
4) "Man Down"
I say this basically anytime something or someone hits the ground or is made useless.
I drop my blackberry. "Man Down."
A waiter drops a tray of dishes. "Man Down"
The internet or electricity goes out. "Man Down"
My foot falls asleep. "Man Down"
I probably won't give this one up. I still find it funny.
3) "Oh S%!t"
I KNOW that I shouldn't. And I hate myself every single morning for doing it. When the alarm goes off, I don't wake up (you all know that I am dead to the world when I sleep) and then I wake up about 45 minutes late. This happens almost every morning. And have to leave for work in 15 minutes, so I panic and it's the first thought in my head. I don't say it out loud. It's just in my head and is now a horrible, involuntary habit. It's somewhere on my list of things to change. Somewhere.
2) "Every rule is based on an incident."
Well it IS. Which is why I point it out again and again. If you have ever been on an LDS mission, you know that. For example:
Incident: Sister Paxman tearing through the gigantic mud puddles of El Dorado Hills with such fury that our little Toyota Corolla engine was flooded on the way to a member dinner.
New (Mission-Wide) Rule: Anytime you have to drive through a puddle, the missionary in the passenger seat has to get out of the car, walk up to the puddle and with a newly provided measuring stick, measure the depth of the puddle to determine the safety of driving through said puddle.
I hated a lot of my mission.
1) "The thing is..." (or also accepted will be "The point is...")
I say these two ALL THE TIME. I've recently learned on Lie to Me* that those phrases are manipulators used to convince people that the speaker (i.e. ME) is authoritative, knowledgeable, persuasive and most importantly, RIGHT. And it works. That's why I do it.
But now I feel dirty because they gave away my evil secrets. However, I am not going to stop using these phrases against you. Oh no. Consider this my universal packaging warning about the psychological effects of my dialogue. You have been notified and reading this blog entry absolves me of any guilt for what I am eventually going to persuade you into believing.
5 comments:
You're not alone with #3. I hear you loud and clear. I feel pangs of guilt over it too. Why can't I stop? I know, it's surprising. My little secret until now.
Um...It counts if you just say it in your head?!?!
The thing is you are still guilty by saying it in your head. Based on incidents that I have seen you are making yourself ineffective, i.e. "man down" by habitually doing it every day. My suggestion is that you make it a rule to at least 3 times a week you wake up when your alarm goes off and then you would have a real reason to say "woot"!
Anon - Curiously, you sound a lot like my DAD. I wonder why that is, hmmmm. Fess up.
I'm horrified by #3. I would NEVER say that. Oh wait, I did. This morning. And there's this: http://halffullofwhat.blogspot.com/2008/10/poopy-clause.html
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